Love in the Time of Kunouchi
by crookedcath
Summary: Love, for ninjas, wasn't forbidden. It was just incredibly, unbelievably, almost impossibly difficult. So they found cheap imitations of it- in one night stands, in alcohol, in tears. But for her- love would always be Neji. NejiTen
1. Selling Your Body

**A/N:** I'll update Beauty and the Not-So Beastly soon- I promise!

x-x-x

**Love in the Time of Kunouchi**

_By Amordeliroiusa_

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

x-x-x-x

To be in anbu was an incredible honor. It represented strength, intellect, courage, and an astounding loyalty to your country that few possessed. It wasn't easy- only a fool would say so, but the life of a ninja was lived for one's country first, for oneself later.

They were all in their early twenties, Tenten barely turning 21 the month before, and they all lived in the country paid house given to them for their amazing achievements as respective officers of the elite force.

Life spent killing, stealing, and seducing didn't leave room for much more than one night stands and irresponsible drunken pity parties on the days between their missions. They were young and emotionally stinted, how could you not be when at age 12 you were asked to stab a knife through someone's heart?

But they didn't complain. They lived to protect Konoha and its people.

Love and life be damned.

x-x-x-x

"Get up."

A groan and a few scattered curses resounded back towards the tall Hyuuga as he eyed the sleeping blob curled up in bed in front of him. He sighed, gripping the top of the blanket and ripping it off, tossing it towards the ground and staring expectantly at the glaring girl staring back up at him.

"I can't."

Her hair was tousled and the lack of sleep in her eyes proved his guesses correct- she had been awake for awhile now, but unwilling to get up. It was nearing sunset now and Tenten had been in bed all day, which he had permitted considering she had gotten in late last night.

But this was ridiculous.

"Everyone does a seduction mission at least once in their lifetime Tenten, get _up_."

To his surprise, she did. She sat up quickly, grabbing his hand at the same time and tugging. Pulling him until he was practically on top of her, she let go of his hand in favor of his face, pulling it closer to her as she kissed him softly.

They spent the next few minutes in silence, mouths moving and Neji's fingers stroking Tenten's uncovered hip. When she finally pulled away, breathless and sighing, she stared up at his wide, moonlit orbs with the look of someone whose worst fears had been confirmed.

"Yesterday, that would have meant something to me."

He rested his forehead on hers. Pecking her lips, he sat up and pulled down her shirt, which had been previously riding up to reveal her well toned abdomen and long porcelain legs. Tilting her chin up, he stared at her seriously.

"You are still the same person you were yesterday. Now get up Tenten."

She didn't move from bed, staring up at the ceiling with the lost sensation that the body she was in didn't belong to her anymore, until Neji called back from the hallway the four words that would bring her back to life.

"Sasuke brought back vodka."

Rolling out of bed, Tenten was out the door in two seconds.

x-x-x-x

The music pounded loudly and she watched as the shot glasses in front of her seemed to move to the sound of it.

She could still feel the man's hands, groping and meaty, shuddering slightly, she filled her glass again. Downing her shot, she turned the stool to watch Sakura on their make shift dance floor.

The girl was laughing, one hand behind her wrapped around Sai's neck as she danced provocatively, sashaying with the grace of an experienced dancer. Sasuke was saying something to Naruto, but his attention instantly directed itself towards Sakura as she winked playfully at him, gesturing for him to come towards her.

Since the return and reinstatement of Uchiha Sasuke as one of Konoha's own leaf ninja, Sakura had given up on the fantasy of ever being Mrs Uchiha Sakura. In reality, she had actually given up on the idea of being Mrs. Anyone other than Haruno Sakura.

Two months ago, Sakura had slammed her glass onto the bar with a "Kunouchi aren't meant to have relationships, we're killing machines and if I can't have the whole thing, why can't I have the cheap two second version of love?"

Tenten had thought she was crazy, but chose not to comment when Sakura had led Uchiha Sasuke into her bedroom that night for what everyone knew was not an innocent conversation of his betrayal. She saw nothing wrong with Sakura wanting to be with Sasuke, that was, until she watched Sakura lead Sai into her bedroom two weeks after that.

And that was when Tenten finally began to notice that the kunouchi of her time had neither boyfriends nor husbands.

They had friends.

But what was so wrong with acting intimately with a friend? Didn't you earn that right when that same friend bathed in blood with you? Stabbed a heart with you? Watched children burn to death with you?

Wasn't that far past what boyfriend and girlfriend went through anyway?

Tenten only fuzzily understood the romantic life of the kunouchi, but after last night, she knew she understood Sakura, and Ino, and even Hinata more than she had ever before.

Reveling in the burning sensation of the vodka sliding down her throat, she slid the glass away from her with a determination and grace that most women dreamed of possessing.

Starting towards the dance floor, she stopped when a deep voice, unconsciously husky, spoke from behind her.

"I thought you didn't like dancing- something about the way random people grabbed you?"

She turned towards him, not even hiding the fact that her eyes roamed over his crossed arms, angular face, and calm eyes. He was dressed in a black button up shirt that did beautiful things with his upper body and she smiled at him appreciatively.

"Not random people, fellow ninja."

His eyebrows crinkled slightly in annoyance. "Tenten you are worth more than five minute thrills and drunken acts of pleasure."

Laughing, she gave him a thumbs up as she made her way into the sashaying crowd, calling back, "How can you tell me how much my body is worth when my country is selling it for 5,000 yen a mission?"

x-x-x-x

Waking up with a start in the darkness, the first thing she did was access what she was currently wearing and what was currently scattered all around the floor. Breathing a sigh of relief, she thanked Kami that her undergarments were still firmly in place, if not a tiny bit jostled.

Sliding out of the bed, she collected her shorts, her silken tank top, and the ribbons that had been keeping her hair into place.

With her clothes in a bundle in her arms, she took one last look at the sleeping form of Uchiha Sasuke and made her way down the hall to the only room she could see herself sleeping in that night.

x-x-x-x

Hyuuga Neji had been sleeping peacefully when the sound of someone slipping his door open woke him with a start. Instantly snapping his eyes open, he activitated the Byakugan-which was not the best idea considering how much Grey Goose he had practically inhaled just hours earlier.

"Shit," he muttered, body tensing in preparation for a fight when the sweetly strong scent of warm vanilla buried itself onto his bare upper body. "Tenten?"

She made some sort of confirming noise as she curled even tighter against him, resting her head in the crook of his neck. "Let me sleep with you," she mumbled, feighning drowsiness when in reality she was wide awake.

He wrapped an arm around the half clothed girl, kissing the top of her head. "I'm shocked-did sleeping with Uchiha not make you feel better?"

She chose to ignore the biting sarcasm in his voice, opting not to mention that they hadn't actually slept together but instead saying the one thing that she knew for certain she felt after a very heated make out session with Sasuke.

"It made me feel in control."

He pulled her closer, tucking her head underneath his chin. "Goodnight Tenten, we have a mission tomorrow."

x-x-x-x

**A/N:** This is really just experimental, I haven't actually decided what I'm going to do with this story. Maybe it'll be a drabble of all the difficulties of being a kunouchi, or maybe it'll be a multichaptered fic. I'm not really sure if I'm even going to keep it, I just want to explore the idea of soulmates and the one you're supposed to be with no matter what. I don't know-maybe. So your feedback would be greatly appreciated!


	2. Selling Your Soul

A/N: I know it's been a year… give or take (ah!), but I honestly thought I'd never go back to my stories or to this site for that matter. I reread the one chapter I did for this one, though, and I just connected to it like I imagine I did when I first started writing it. The idea of soul mates will never leave me it seems, especially when it's NejiTen. I'm not sure about Beauty and the Not So Beast, though, so sorry about that! Also I don't own Naruto. Or a certain somebody would still be alive and having babies with Tenten.

**Chapter Two**

"_I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not."_

_Robert Green_

Hyuuga Neji's voice cut through the silence, deep and commanding- warning anyone who might be compelled to ignore his words. Although the porcelain hawk mask veiled his eyes, his team knew he was fixing his pearl gaze intently on each of them.

"I will not attempt to stress to you what you all already know," he spoke quietly, his eyes connecting with each of his members in turn. "The secrecy of this mission is essential. Protect it as you see fit."

He didn't need to tell them what they all already knew. Their lives were dispensable- the success of the mission was not. Neji felt almost guilty for insinuating to his comrades that if they were caught they were expected to die for the success of the mission, but it was necessary. His throat tightened when Naruto- blonde hair flopping as he nodded determinedly- stared back at his captain with steely resolve. When had it become so easy for them to consider their lives so easily disposable? He turned away from the fox mask. Pausing to stare at chocolate brown eyes behind the porcelain mask of a dragon, he clenched his fists.

"Be safe."

The six figures crouching in front of him disappeared.

x-x-x-x

Tenten chuckled quietly as Neji passed her perch atop a large oak tree. She wondered if he realized how …_regal_ he came off in the midst of battle. The unbelievable silk that was his hair flowed with his sharp movements effortlessly and it almost seemed as if he was dancing.

Well, if dances ended in piles of dead bodies.

He had naturally placed the most dangerous part of the mission upon himself, but she had expected no less. Neji was high and mighty when he spoke of a ninja's duty and death as inevitable, but the Anbu Captain saw to it that any feigned ambushes or risky infiltrations were carried out personally. He was the distraction this time. She sucked in a breath as the telltale signs of hundreds of feet rushing towards the clearing where he now stood could be heard.

He would do his best to fight them off single handedly while Naruto, Shikamaru, and Sakura infiltrated the palace, but she knew even for him it'd be a tough task. Her eyes narrowed as an enemy nin sent thin senbon flying towards the Hyuuga as the thin waves of chakra begin to dissolve around him. Intercepting it with a shruiken, she waited.

Her duty was with Neji and her place was wherever Neji was. And she would be damn well sure not a single blade would come within a hair's breadth of him.

Or they would see just how dispensable a life could be.

x-x-x-x

When Tenten had woken up that morning in Neji's arms, he could tell that she was only slightly embarrassed at her actions with one Uchiha Sasuke the night before. He hadn't said anything, only pressed his lips gently against her forehead as he moved over her towards his closet. Their mission was a dangerous one and they had to be out early.

Pulling the defensive vest over his head, he glanced back at her. "I understand you had a busy night, but we do have a mission."

She sat up, raising an eyebrow and blushing slightly. "I'm still me you know."

He tied the black pants. Raising an eyebrow, he said nothing as she stared defiantly at a corner of his bed. "Kissing random people… letting people grope me… It makes me feel so dirty Neji. I keep telling myself I'm the same person but it doesn't feel that way. I feel cheap."

Before he could open his mouth, she had gotten up and walked out the door mumbling something he could barely make out to be "how could anyone love me?"

He had wanted to pull her back, reassure her, tell her she was blind for not being able to see her true worth. But they had needed to prepare for the mission and as always, in front of their teammates Neji had been professional. His relationship with Tenten was always professional publicly and they kept their affection secret.

It wasn't that they were dating really. It seemed too childish to call her his girlfriend. But she was his, whether official or not.

A kunai grazed his cheek and his eyes narrowed. If something had managed to hit him that meant... Tenten was in danger. Landing a kick hard enough to crack the attacker's skull, he scanned the clearing to make sure it was devoid of all life. Satisfied, Neji rushed to the top of the tree where he knew she had been covering him.

She was crouching, her mask was cracked and the corner of her mouth bled profusely. Her arm clutched a gash spanning across her stomach as she stared up at the man before her. There was something defeating in her eyes as she slouched, allowing the enemy to raise his katana-

One hard palm to the chest and the man's heart stopped beating. Neji ignored the goose bumps trailing his arm as he caught the last weak pump of a handicapped heart and watched the man's eyes glisten over and he fell the hundred feet to the ground.

"I was going to kill him Neji, I swear I was. But a picture fell out and his wife and kids and I just-," she began to cough, blood splattering the bark in front of his feet. "How could I be the one to take away someone's father?"

He glared at her, wrenching his mask off and taking her chin in his hand roughly. Pointing her face up so she couldn't look away, he clenched his teeth. "You could have _died _Tenten. We're not at some party and we're not at home, you can't just give up and sacrifice yourself every time you realize the person you're fighting is _human_."

Wrenching her face away from his grasp she grabbed the hand that had been holding her. Tracing his fingers slightly, she looked up at him. "How many lives have you taken with this hand alone Neji?"

His eyes widened slightly, but he had no time for answers because suddenly her eyes went cloudy and she was falling.

"_Tenten!"_

x-x-x-x

She could feel the sharp cut of air against her cheeks, but even then she was extremely warm. She was moving, fast, and someone had a death like grip on her body.

"Neji?"

At the sound of her voice, determined pale eyes looked down at her and seemed to soften with relief when she spoke clearly- displaying no signs of weakness or slow recovery. He had caught her as she was falling, instantly bandaging her wounds loosely until Sakura had returned and taken over.

The pink haired girl had clicked her tongue at Neji's messy bandages that did nothing to stop the flow of blood escaping from the lean brunette. He had stood, standing tall despite his exhaustion. "Fix her," he had said, and fix her she did.

He had never felt more grateful for the pink haired medic.

They were heading back to the village- their mission a successful one despite Tenten's mistake. He was carrying her bridal style, ignoring the looks his teammates were giving him because he had chosen not to disclose the details of Tenten's incident. He had merely asked about the scroll and announced their immediate departure home.

"You called me a murderer," he said quietly, eyes fixed back on the path ahead of him.

She blushed, fidgeting slightly as she buried her nose in his chest. "I didn't-"

"You're right. I have killed more than I care to remember with my right hand alone- I'm sure that makes me a murderer," she had stared up at him with wide eyes, but he didn't take his eyes away from the path leading to the village. "But when faced with the decision of someone else's life or yours, I would be a murderer again and again."

She looked down sullenly. Would he still be so faithful to her if he had seen the way the lord's lips had caressed her neck, stroking her in places only Neji should have? Would he still fight for her had he seen the children she had slaughtered because they would not reject their allegiance to the enemy? Had he felt this loyalty when drunken and stumbling she had willingly walked into the Uchiha's room? Not for the good of her village, not for 5.000 yen, but because _she wanted to_.

She was a kunouchi. By description alone she could not be loved in the way Neji wanted to love her.

His grip on her tightened and this time he stared down at her.

"No matter how many men you've killed or invited, willingly or unwillingly, my choice is with you."

x-x-x-x


	3. Ties that Bind

A/N: Don't hate me for never updating it. Inspiration comes at horrible times. I hope you like this chapter, I'm sure my writing style has changed quite a bit but the feels of reading the last Naruto chapters has me needing to write about it. Enjoy!

**Chapter 3**

_These Ties That Bind_

* * *

><p>Hyuuga Neji wakes to moonlight streaming through the windows onto his pale face, an empty space where previously had laid a sleeping brunette, and the realization that somewhere in the house were the sounds of soft sniffles. Hyuuga Neji wakes to the sound of Tenten crying.<p>

Hours earlier, the two had returned from the hospital to the shared home of the other anbu operatives starving and exhausted. Tenten hadn't responded to his declaration of loyalty to her, but she hadn't needed to. Their relationship, if it could be labeled so superficially, had always been self explanatory. If Neji was somewhere, Tenten was likely in the shadows- clad in an impressive assortment of weaponry and daring someone to attack the small sliver of the world that Neji could not see. If Tenten was somewhere, she was always in his sights, no matter how far away, and he resisted the urge to use the Byakugan to determine where she was now and why she was crying.

He would wait for her to tell him on her own time.

x-x-x-x

She doesn't know why she wakes in the middle of the night, but she does. She is curled into Neji's side, feeling his breaths lift her cheek up and down as he recovers from a mission that must have taken more energy than she realized, as he always wakes as soon as she does. The night is beautiful and she slowly eases herself up to admire the beauty that is a sleeping Neji.

Silky dark hair is splayed on the pillow, contrasting with the pale skin that covers his ceramic, marbled body. He is beautiful in a royal way and she smiles because he is hers. Lightly moving a piece of stray hair that has settled on his forehead, her fingers still and she exhales- an overwhelming sadness creeps on her, stills her heart, and steals her breath.

The Hyuuga curse mark gleams on his pale forehead and stares at her with an arrogance that screams, "He does not belong to you! He does not even belong to himself!"

And then suddenly she is remembering a young thirteen year old boy glaring at the walls of the hospital room as she sits up in the uncomfortable bed listening to his account of his Chuunin Exam preliminary fight against Hinata. She had been upset about her loss to Temari, but Neji had quickly brushed it aside with a, "Her wind elements directly contrasted your style of fighting. It says nothing about your ability, we will just have to find a way around it."

Even a young preteen Neji, caught in the ill fate of the Hyuuga branch house and believing himself to be nothing but a caged bird knew to encourage her. Even now, she feels sadness for the young boy who believed he was alone and trapped inside a life that no one believed to be worth more than protecting another life.

"Every jounin came out to protect her, Tenten. As if the mere thought of me laying another hand on the precious Hyuuga heir was so catastrophic that every single jounin was forced out of his seat. Her words hadn't bothered me, they had no basis. She was foolish to even stand up," his hand had clenched and she had pretended like she did not see that he was trying to convince himself of his indifference to Hinata's accusation of his internal hurting.

She pretended not to see the lonely look in his eyes.

And then she is remembering an angry, spiteful Neji standing above a paralyzed Naruto speaking of his father's murder and his clan's betrayal. She had been in the crowds, smiling proudly at his achievement and the raw display of power he was showing everyone in Konoha. Today was Neji's day to prove to Konoha that the Hyuuga clan was flawed and that a Branch member showed more potential than the likes of them.

She had never ever expected him to tell the world of his tragic past. She remembered staring down at this boy, standing alone in the center of the stadium, and being overwhelmed with the sense of loneliness that he must feel every day trapped in a clan he hated.

The worst memory comes last. She remembers Neji returning from a failed mission to retrieve Sasuke, broken and with a literal hole where she believed his heart would be. He had fought with every last breath for the ideal that Naruto had instilled in him of his own worth. He had fought with every intention of dying and Tenten remembered feeling breathless and broken as she waited for news that this ill fated boy had conquered what appeared to be his destiny for a life of tragedy and loss. He had almost killed himself to protect the values he believed contradicted the mark on his forehead.

And here she was, in the middle of the night, staring straight at the brand on his forehead that would not leave him until death.

Knowing she would wake him, she pushed her sore and aching body out of bed and collapsed on the floor of the hallway in tears. It was indescribable, the sadness she felt for him. Hyuuga Neji had been through hell every step of his life and would continue to live with a curse branded on his forehead until his death.

Tenten wraps her arms around her knees and cries until she feels like she is gasping for every breath and her body has repaid Neji's suffering in the form of tears.

x-x-x-x

He is not asleep when she returns to the room and he doesn't pretend to be. She smiles, embarrassed, and scratches the back of her head as she stands next to the bed and looks down upon him. He sits up and raises an eyebrow at her, "What's wrong?"

With those two words, her smile fades and she rushes onto his lap, stradding his waist. Cupping his face in her hands, she kisses the end of his curse mark, planting quick hurried kisses on each section until she has kissed the entire width of his forehead. Planting her lips on his, her hands busy themselves with unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it to the side of the bed hurriedly.

Their breaths are shallow in the night and he quickly strips her of her clothing, rolling her off of his lap and onto her back. Pushing her knees apart, he enters her in one swift push and drowns out the sounds of her moans with his lips on hers. When it is over, he holds himself above her, staring into soft brown eyes that are undecipherable to him.

Although he isn't complaining, the Hyuuga prodigy has no clue what has gotten into his teammate. Before he can question her, Tenten lifts a hand to trace the light circular scar right above his heart. She plants a soft kiss on it and then stares straight into his pale questioning eyes.

"I love you."

His expression screams confusion but she doesn't explain. Instead she squeezes her eyes shut, wrapping her hands around his neck and pulling him into a tight hug.

"I love you, I love you, I love you. And I need you to know that," she whispers as she buries her face into his neck.

He has suffered, he will continue to suffer, but he will not do so alone.


End file.
